17.83°C Review by Paul T. Davies
Dear Jane, a chapbook of poetry by Chris Clement-Payne, explores betrayal, healing and love through a deeply personal collection.
Colchester resident Chris Clement-Payne – father, carer, student and part-time HGV driver, brown belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu and now poet. It’s rare for a man to express himself so honestly about his feelings in a public forum, and that’s what drew me to the original blogs of Living With Luke.
Written during a year of psychotherapy and personal reckoning, these powerful, emotive and sometimes funny poems are full of relatable experiences for anyone who has been through tough times. At its heart is a letter never sent to his wife, who left, and the poems chart his experiences and journey to self-acceptance. Some of the poems are, indeed, very raw in their emotional content, but read chronologically, they show discovery and development, and are offered to anyone who has “loved, lost, and struggled to reclaim themselves.”
Part One – The Truth I Never Said – is about those unspoken emotions. The poem Dear Jane contains bitterness and anger, as well as great hurt, and the struggle speaks through the words. Abandoned as a baby, Baby Boy In The Telephone Box is a devastating account of being left, of abandonment:
“I am the boy in the telephone box,
forty-five years later,
still waiting for someone who knocks.”
Possibly everything you think you know about Clement-Payne is in those first few poems, but don’t make judgments on him yet. 16 is a shattering account of his sexual assault by a man, so raw and honest about what it did to him and how it influenced his actions and decisions from that moment on.
But this is also an account of recovery. Love begins to shine in his life – the support of friends, his unconditional love for his autistic daughter in My Beautiful Bethany Bee, and a very funny poem about his rescue dog. What strikes me more than anything is the lack of self-pity. His honesty may make you uncomfortable occasionally, but there is a clear journey to the man he is today.
The poems are offered in the hope that reflection and connection serve as reminders that, even in the darkest of times, recovery is possible. It’s a message that needs to be heard, and this is a bold and powerful collection from a so-called “ordinary man.”
The book is available to order online.
